Monday, 8 June 2009

Konta - Reply 8-Jun-09

From: Desmond Aster (majoraster@hotmail.com)
Sent: 08 June 2009 07:20:39
To: wendekonta@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Fill Up This Application Form‏

Dear Mr Konta,

In future correspondence could you ensure that you use the prefix Maj. or Major when you write. I didn't serve all those years in the trenches at the Somme, defending the right for you, I and johnny foreigner to go about our daily business, free of jackboots, goose-stepping down the High Street, driving Mercedes and sauerkraut for breakfast for nothing!

As I don't have a business or company, I am unable to print this on headed paper. I have also taken the liberty to correct several spelling and grammatical mistakes on your form, as "I ... applies", contains both the first and the third-person subjective pronoun. If you are applying on my behalf, then "applies" is correct, whereas if it is I that am applying, "apply" will suffice. Can you advise which of us is applying?

Further on "my application will be" should be "my application to be", the"an" following this is superfluous, "expedite action" should be "expedite this action" and "I attached above" would be much better as "I have attached above" (though why I need a photograph of this gentleman is beyond me, his signature or an official document would be much more appropriate). As you are working at the bank, could you not provide a more valid document than his family portrait to help this application?

Please bear with me on this as I am a stickler for correct grammar. I don't know where you learned English, but at my Grammer School, even the slightest mistake in punctuation was dealt with by the Headmaster taking me into his study and disciplining me with a stiff rod. Never did me any harm, I can tell you!

Finally, I would have expected the computer address at the Bank of Africa to be at the Bank of Africa - whereas the computer address you sent is at instructor.net. Why is this? Is this where you give lessons? I imagine you have other altruistic pursuits in your spare time, and teaching people lessons would be an altogether worthwhile pursuit.

Could you respond to me on these points and I will return the completed form post-haste.

Etc, etc,
Major Des Aster